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The worst case of loneliness in fiction would be the end of I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream wherein (Spoiler alert, do not read the following sentences if you do not want to be spoiled!) Ted, having rescued his friends from the ever-so-powerful AM, roams the Earth as an unidentifiable specimen suffering from the non-ending torture of an omnipresent AI. This is what loneliness feels like, but on a lesser scale.
As Aristotle said to the crowd:
διότι δὲ πολιτικὸν ὁ ἄνθρωπος ζῷον πάσης μελίττης καὶ παντὸς ἀγελαίου ζῴου μᾶλλον, δῆλον. οὐθὲν γάρ, ὡς φαμέν, μάτην ἡ φύσις ποιεῖ
In English, this roughly translates to [tr. Bolland (1877)]:
“And that man is a social animal in a fuller sense than any bee or gregarious animal is evident; for nature, we say, makes nothing without an object, and man is the only animal that possesses rational speech.”
We, by nature, are designed to socialize with other people, or rather, people of the same species, which is what we will discuss today. Loneliness can be a haunting companion for those grappling with depression. It's like a shadow that never leaves, a constant reminder of isolation and disconnection. In the darkness of despair, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel; the start of it is by first building social connections. This may feel like a drag because the feeling of social interaction just screams “added emotional burden”, but it is precisely in these moments of despair that reaching out becomes most crucial. In this, we will focus more on battling loneliness and depression, and different strategies to combat it.
Acknowledging the Weight of Loneliness:
We understand that depression tends to amplify our feelings of loneliness, giving us the feeling that we can’t escape it no matter what we do or what we try. Let’s not forget how essential it is to recognize that, first off, these feelings are valid and understandable, but also that we must take steps for us to overcome them. It is not an easy journey, but with the right steps, there is a way out of the tunnel. The first step for overcoming your depression is to also overcome your feelings of loneliness. We must not shame ourselves and always keep in mind that loneliness is not a personal failure but a common experience shared by many who battle depression, which is why we are going to tackle how to combat this feeling.
Some Strategies for Combating Loneliness:
Start Small
“Start Where You Are. Use What You Have. Do What You Can.” (Arthur Ashe, University of Pacific). We can begin this process by starting small and reaching out to familiar faces, it can either be a trusted friend, family member, or whoever initially comes to mind. Try to share your feelings honestly and openly, without fear of judgment. Sometimes, even the simplest sharing can help alleviate the burden of loneliness.
Join Support Groups:
If you think that you’re the only person feeling this way, joining support groups can be a beneficial approach when tackling what you are experiencing. These groups can either be online communities or face-to-face communities, as long as the group can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. You can go to Church and see in the people how they grow under the grace of the Lord, or go to AA meetings (His name is Robert Paulson) and see the perspective of fellow victims so that you can learn how they overcome their demons. Connecting with others who share similar experiences with you can offer valuable support and validation, knowing that you are not alone in what you are experiencing.
Pursue Shared Interests
If I were to ask you “Tell me the things that you enjoy doing” what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it watching a certain influencer, playing a certain sport, playing games, or debating when exactly is the fall of the Roman Empire? Whatever it is, let us remember that our minds ENJOY when we engage in activities or hobbies that we love to do because these are natural mood boosters, it triggers the release of endorphins which are neurotransmitters that help us feel happiness. What better way to enjoy a hobby than doing it with a friend? "There are three things that grow more precious with age; old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy." (Henry Ford).
Practice Self-Compassion:
When you look in the mirror, the person you see is not your enemy. Always remember to be gentle with yourself on this journey. Avoid feeling ashamed of yourself and giving in to your intrusive thoughts; they are wrong. Do not forget that depression will ALWAYS distort our perceptions of self-worth, making it challenging for us to reach out for support. Now that you’re reading this, I want you to keep this in mind: It's okay to ask for help. We are not designed to be self-reliant. We persevered through history and vast civilizations, not because we are isolated creatures, but rather we are social beings, and this nature is what keeps us alive and well. This is the reason why all of us... why you deserve to feel love and connection.
Seek Professional Help
If your feelings of loneliness persist or eventually become more overwhelming, do not forget that there is another option: try and consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy is a lovely start (like what Kendrick said from Meet The Grahams), and it can provide valuable tools and strategies for managing depression and building resilience.
In conclusion, always remember that navigating through your feelings of depression and loneliness tends to underscore the importance of being gentle with yourself and cultivating meaningful friendships, which can branch out into lifelong relationships.
Remember these two things: Self-compassion is the best form of protection against the harshness of internal struggles, and Supportive Relationships offer solace and connection in times of need. The former cannot be sustained without the latter, so continue to strive to maintain both. If we continue extending kindness to ourselves and are consistent in nurturing genuine connections with others, we can navigate the challenges of our mental health with resilience and hope.
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